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The five most important words I’ll ever say

DON’T. BELIEVE. EVERYTHING. YOU. READ.

I mean really. This is covered in “Web Survival 101″. In life, everything you know is because someone told you it is so (which is why certain regions have religions that they’re willing to kill for.)

The news is jaded as hell, and “Objective Journalism” is a thing of the past. Your best friend is full of shit. And for the life of me, I can’t think of a single time in my life where I ever got in trouble for lying…

The shit always hits the fan when I’m honest.

Anyway, my point.
The Internet is no better. It’s filled with sick bastards looking to prey on our kids, and crooks looking to get your credit card numbers and passwords. Like that famous line from the New Yorker several years ago: “On the Internet, no one knows you’re a dog.” You can be anything and anyone you want.

So why are you suddenly believing every word from every asshole that talks to you?

From Nikki Sixx’s blog:

It has been brought to my attention that there are a lot of people out there in MYSPACE land pretending to be me. I do not use myspace and anybody who is being sucked in by these leeches needs be aware. I have seen a few sites where there are people making plans to meet me,promises of backstage passes,etc etc.This is complete bullshit and I don’t want any of you sucked into it.

MySpace. Gee. What a shock.

We’d neeeeeeeeevvvvver have celebrity impersonators on Problem Adults. That’s for sure.

DON’T. BELIEVE. EVERYTHING. YOU. READ.
That advice will increase your survival rate by 226%.

Oh and I’m seeeeeeriously considering never going the honest route with people ever again. Clearly most people want to live a lie and be lied to.

This entry was posted on Monday, May 1st, 2006 at 2:35 am and is filed under As The Web Burns, The -=e=- Show, Urban Legends and Scams. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.

buffy

I’m marking the calendar! -=e=- imparts wisdom to the world!

THank you, Thank you , Thank you! I will SO endeavor to keep those words in mind. I may print them out and past them on my mirror…or on the hutch at work, or my forehead.

(Seriously….it’s good advice. Thanks, e.)
buffy

ooooops……here’s the missing “e” e….go edit that comment….it’s driving me crazy!
Old Comedywriter

Regarding #3 (if it hasn’t already been deleted) – No thanks on the penis enlargement pills, but thanks for my daily irony supplement.
Sue

I’m glad to see you post…I was getting a little worried.
Jeanna

HAHAHA Oh geez.

Uh folks……as I’m sure out dear friend Jem Stone (PA’s very own Entertainment Report) would tell these folks, if a celeb has a blog, it’s always on their official web-site.

And dearie why the hell are you still getting ads like #3 above? You don’t need them.
-=e=-

Buffy, where does the missing “e” go… ? I’ve been looking at the comment over and over and it looks like it was spelled correctly. You did that on purpose, didn’t you?

OC. Yeah those sneaky bastards got one past me (I delete HUNDREDS of those every day… all gone. Heh heh!!! And dude what’s up with the email, I tried to send you something supportive when you talked about your wife and asthma problems and my mail bounced back?

Sue…? Love ya, baby!!!!

Jeanna, exactly!

Also (from the few celebrities I *DO* know and interact with online) they NEVER identify themselves. They pick a quiet and unnassuming screenname… and normally they are WAY too busy to be a regular active member anyway. So anyone that’s going to come right out and say… “Hey, yo baby, I’M NIKKI SIXX”… well, they’re full of crap.
spiritgirl

That is soooo right on, so true for me right now, I’m with ya, E! I may just never tell the truth again…..

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Here are a list of other great blogs and journals for you to check out. Due to Technorati's way of ranking sites, and I don't have a blogroll, I've pulled these right out of my Links Page.
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Disclaimer: The views expressed herein are solely those of Eric Brooks. They do not necessarily reflect those of his employers, friends, contacts, family, or even his pets (though my cat, Puddy, seems to agree with me on many key issues.). In accordance to my terms of use, you hereby acknowledge my right to psychoanalyze you, practice accupuncture, and mock you incessantly with every visit. As the user, you also acknowledge that the author has been legally declared a "Problem Adult" by the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania, and is therefore not responsible for any of his actions.