…stop laughing because I turn my head askew like a dog when someone says or does something stupid.

I have been banned from eBay.

Apparently, a rat and a plastic tube does not constitute a Do-It-Yourself abortion kit.

I just learned that a census taker’s vision is motion-based. If you don’t move, they don’t see you hiding behind the couch.

Unfortunately this doesn’t work on Jehovah’s Witnesses, Bill Collectors, or Dog the Bounty Hunter. But when I figure that out, I will keep you posted.

… we have a surprise for the studio audience today… look under your seats… IT’S A BOMB!

From AP Top Strange News At 9:22 p.m. EDT -Man pleads guilty to DWI in motorized La-Z-Boy:

“DULUTH, Minn. (AP) — A Minnesota man has pleaded guilty to driving his motorized La-Z-Boy chair while drunk. A criminal complaint says 62-year-old Dennis LeRoy Anderson told police he left a bar in the northern Minnesota town of Proctor on his chair after drinking eight or nine beers….”