I seem to be getting hit by a lot of referrals for Jim McGreevey jokes.
I mean what… The Rude Pundit wasn’t brutal enough?

Well, I haven’t heard any yet, but I can certainly blow (no pun intended) the dust off of some old jokes…

In the maternity ward, a supervisor noticed all of the babies crying.

All except one, little Jim McGreevey.

One by one they all were silenced as the nurse popped a pacifier in their mouths.

All except one, little Jim McGreevey.

Supervisor: Look at how wonderfully behaved the McGreevey child is… he never cried and you never had to pop a pacifier in his mouth.

Nurse: If I pull his pacifier out of his ass, he’ll cry just like the rest of them. Trust me.

New ‘Bushism’ Born at Bill Signing

“Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we,” Bush said. “They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we.”

See? Who said ingenuity is dead in America?
If the administration wants to hurt us too… well darn it, I guess it’s okay by me.

As long as it’s new and innovative.

Good for you, Mr. President.

In other unrelated news, Michael Moore suprisingly accepted a new job as Bush’s speechwriter yesterday…

Let me just interject some thoughts before giving Witchy back the stage again (isn’t she a great writer?).

I had to go to a wake yesterday (not the soldier FROM Iraq, this one is a friend’s mother… since it comes in threes, most people at work wouldn’t be surprised if I’m going to be #3, so it all has me thinking about my own mortality, and why I keep seeing the Reaper every time I go to the convenience store for a soda refill & cigarettes.).

So after work, I’m picked up where we immediately drive to California* to the wake.
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Heh… I once heard that a human will go insane after seven days with no sleep. That is SO not true. Probably propaganda by Serta or one of those mattress companies or something.

It’s just like quitting smoking… sure it’s rough for a few weeks (like I swore I kept seeing Brad Pitt and we were going INTO the soapmaking business together?)…

But after a month, you realize you don’t need it.

Oh, and the Bush administration? I’m totally sick of them. Is it November yet?
If the guarantee of a gay marriage ban, or the draft coming back in the next term isn’t enough of an excuse… how about the fact that Americans aren’t safe anywhere on the planet?

Nobody ever hated Russian tourists. We always pitied them for being poor saps for not knowing all of the sucky things their commie government was doing. Of course they weren’t loud, fat and obnoxious…

Did we get Osama yet?
I think you get the point.

Don’t get me wrong, if I were to ever actually meet President Bush, of course I would SHOW him the respect you’d give to a president.

Much like the way you give respect to your boss or some other suit in the office, and then remark what an asshole he is once they were out of earshot?

No, really. I can’t stand him and what he’s done to our country. If I had any more contempt for him I’d have the Secret Service at my door asking me to “chill out”. You know, it’s like if I worked in McDonalds, you’d hear over the intercom “Hello. Welcome to McDonalds… how may I hate Bush for you today?”

Oh, and there’s a new element in the William Hung nightmares now…
After the show, he moves in with me and the familiy…

…WITH A KARAOKE MACHINE.

… if he’s lucky!

(This and other hilariously cruel t-shirts can be found here.)

BONUS TRACK: New in SoApBoX - “An Open Letter To Landover Baptist Church“