“I feel wonderful because I see
The love light in your eyes.
And the wonder of it all
Is that you just don’t realize how much I love you…”

- “Wonderful Tonight” – Eric Clapton –

Legend has it that my middle name came FROM my (then 15 year old) cousin, Valourie… who was quite the Beatles/Stones/Yardbirds fan…

I’ve always loved Eric Clapton. The man doesn’t play guitar… he makes love to it. He makes it scream out, he makes it gently kiss you like a warm summer breeze…

I was watching VH1 tonight, and “Wonderful Tonight” came on…

My mind just drifted back 10 years ago, when Carole & I were first married. We were struggling & expecting our first child together. A classic rock station played in the warehouse I was working in, and I always thought of her when that song came on. What she was doing, was everything okay, you know, sappy newlywed stuff like that.

It kind of became “our song”.
Well, except that I never told her about it.
There’s probably a lot of things I should have shared with her over the years… but I just can’t seem to articulate some of the things that go on in my head sometimes.

Hell, I have no idea what I’m trying to say here…

Tonight was the first time I heard that song since, and I was pulled back to the present by my 5 year old, who shakes me and asks “Daddy, why are you crying?”

There must have been something in the rug irritating my eye.
Yeah that’s it.

I wonder why we wait so long to realize how much someone means to us? Why does it always happen when it’s too late?

MORE: Read the rest of this entry »

We interrupt our latest obsession with macro codes and visual basic programming to bring the following tip for people who have no business reproducing….

“Milton, Fla., police Detective Mike Daughtery told the Associated Press the dying boy said Hoffman and his mother kept him mostly in one room, beat him every day, only fed him scraps and didn’t let him out of the house to go to school or see friends…”

When you feed your child, love them and care for them…. they live.

When you starve them for five months, beat them repeatedly and ship them on a bus across the country, where strangers take them in, as they’re described as “looking like a holocaust victim”… well, they tend to die.

Any questions?

A little local news to bring some pride to my adopted Police Statehometown.
*sigh* :0(

There’s no comments on this post, because like the post below, it will be safely tucked away where it belongs. Where no one needs to see it.

Just so there’s no speculation, or rumors, let me just get this out.

My wife was four months pregnant.
She checked into the hospital two days ago to check out the numbness in her fingers. The sonogram didn’t detect a heartbeat.

The constant stress and pressure of our lives proved to be too much, and the baby died. My wife is also believed to be diagnosed with the early stages of multiple sclerosis.

Many of you know, and the outpouring of love from the web community has been overwhelming.

I just wanted you all to know that we’re home from the hospital, and the procedure went well. The Mrs. is fine.

The fetus was too small to determine the sex… so we have named him/her “Angel”. There will be a memorial service here with the family as everyone is devastated.

The web right now… is irrelevant.
My family needs me.

Thank you all, and I love you all very much.

-e & family -

[This post will self-destruct by dawn.
This is a side of me that no one will ever be allowed to see anymore.]

Tomorrow, something upbeat, gossipy, and whimsical…

Just I don’t have the time and I’m exhausted.
I’m fine, guys. Faith can even tell you, when she called to check up on me & the Mrs., that I’m all perky and stuff.

However, there are others in the family that *could* use your prayers and good thoughts… and as always, I’ll be in your debt for it. Details have been sketchy, and that’s only because there are certain things I am no longer allowed to talk about, as you all know…. but most of you pieced the puzzle together. You guys are truly wonderful. Thank you.

Just wanted to share a little tibit of knowledge I’ve learned in the past 24+ hours, and maybe this will help someone down the line:

Sometimes things don’t *have* to have a reason for it to happen.
It just happens.

(A conversation in the darkness)

“I did good, right?”

“You didn’t have to. We would have fought the armies of Hell for you.”

“I know… but there’s enough going on.”

“You didn’t have to do this. You were meant to be.”

“Apparently not. Hey, there’s an reason for all of this. We just don’t know it yet.”

You inherited my uncanny ability of bad timing…
And my sense of self-sacrifice.
Off to the Heavens, my little warrior angel….

Daddy will always love you.

This page is closed today in loving memory of the Patriots and Heroes who lost their lives on this day last year.

Say a prayer, light a candle, and remember….

But most important of all… live your life to the fullest.

We will never forget.
-e-

(Originally printed December 23, 2001)
I really don’t talk about September 11th much.

I remember the grueling 12-hour day I put in checking the latest AP wires and keeping live coverage on the website, amid rumors that NY and NJ may have no way of communicating with the outside world… way before some of the events even made it on TV. Walking into work that morning, never suspecting for a second that this would lead to the devastation and unspeakable horror that we’ve all stared in a state of shock over the past few months.
I can’t think about it.
I won’t think about it.

I did a pretty damn good job at avoiding it, until this morning.

Joe Flounders lived only a few miles from me. His wife Pat begged him to flee his World Trade Center office after the first plane the other tower… He stayed behind to help a co-worker, suffering shock; trying to get him out also…

Moments later, the second plane crashed and exploded right through his office…

MORE: Read the rest of this entry »

Well, much to my surprise, the conversation of violence against women is still going on here on this site…

It’s an important topic.
You know, I may be a guy. And I may not be an expert.
But I *do* have very strong feelings about the subject.

I try very hard to understand how a person gets to look upon their spouse as a “possession” rather than a “partner”.

Worse yet… when does one cross the line between love and hate? Is it insecurity? Is it guilt over their own infidelity? Is it obsession? Is it a sense of being “incomplete” in and of themselves? Is it an upbringing where there’s no repect for women?

I know this sounds kind of slanted… I mean, there are such things as “battered husbands”, but I kinda laugh at those guys. I shouldn’t, but I do.

The question of the day is: What makes a person love someone one day, then want to hurt them the next?

oh. my. God.
(Don’t click that link if you have a weak stomach.)

“Holding her captive, Iqbal accused Parveen of having an affair. Parveen insisted that she had never been unfaithful to him, but Iqbal didn’t listen. Instead, he gagged her, bound her feet and hands and hung her upside down from the ceiling. As he beat her with a wooden ax handle, blood began to drip from her arms and legs….”

“Then Iqbal, a barber by profession, traded his ax for a razor. He cut off the lower lobes of her ears, then sliced her nose at the base. ‘He next used a metal rod to poke out my eyes,’ she continues, ‘and then put his finger inside each socket to make sure nothing was left.’… “

She had her eyes gouged out, the base of her nose and her earlobes cut off… all because her husband accused her of having an affair, to which he did he never provided a shred of evidence.

It’s called “Honor Killings” or “Honor Violence”. An all too common practice in places like Pakistan. It mainly goes unreported, and the offenders are rarely punished.

In the case of what Mehmood Iqbal did to his wife, he was given 14 years… which is considered a “life sentence”. Amnesty International was surprised he was even convicted.

“Though Parveen [the wife who was mutilated] rarely ventured outside, when she did, she often overheard people wondering aloud what she had done to deserve the way she looked.”

As always, it’s “what did the victim do to deserve this”… right?
Somebody tell me what century are we living in again?
(Via Rachel Lucas)