Month: April 2011

Seriously. I feel his pain.

Posted on by Eric Brooks

Why does everyone love me so much?
via Yahoo Answers
“Why I am awesome:
I feel as though:
If there was a God, I’d be his favorite.
If unicorns were real, they’d search for me as the mythical beast.
If Chuck Norris was at my house, he’d be making jokes about how awesome I am.
If a seeing person could see me, they’d go blind. And if I touched a blind man, he could see. But once he saw me, he’d be blind again.
If I was to get hit by a car, the car would merely split where it touched me.
If the sun was to consume earth, I would be the last survivor out in space.“

READ MORE (answers are hilarious) »

Twitter Weekly Updates for 2011-04-24

Posted on by Eric Brooks

Read more of my obnoxious statuses by following me on Twitter: http://twitter.com/EricBrooksCom

  • I'm not sure about much these days, but after just seeing an Angel with my own eyes… I am sure they are real. #
  • If you have so much free time that you post in all of the trending topics just to be noticed, then #YouDeserveToBeSingle (yes, I know.) #
  • #RelationshipTip101 – When I borrow money, and giggle when you ask "when am I getting it back?", it was probably just a tickle in my throat. #
  • #RelationshipTip101 – When I tell you I love you, and you hear a woman in the background. It's prolly just the maid in this motel. Honest! #
  • #RelationshipTip101 – If a MAN ever hurts you or cheats on you, ask yourself "Did I burn the roast again? Did I say 'no' to sex recently?" #
  • #RelationshipTip101 – It is NEVER a good idea to invite your wife and your girlfriend to the same awards ceremony. #
  • #RelationshipTip101 – If your best friend is prone to violence, making moves on his mom is probably a very bad idea. #
  • #RelationshipTip101 – Your BF's previous occupation was "Suicide Bomber", and now you fear he has "Commitment Issues"… O RLY? #
  • #RelationshipTip101 – If you catch your man kissing another girl on the couch… Wait. What were you doing out of the kitchen, anyway?!?!!? #
  • #RelationshipTip101 – Your BF's previous occupation was "Suicide Bomber", and now you realize he has "Commitment Issues"… O RLY? #
  • Today, I will eat moldy pizza, inhale cleaning fluids, wash down 3 brands of cough syrup with alcohol, & my tweets will be awesome! #Winning #

    • Continue reading “Twitter Weekly Updates for 2011-04-24”

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