Month: March 2006

Just in time for April Fool’s day

Posted on by Eric Brooks

Live, from my guestbook, I am pleased to introduce…

A must in all gOdOfMiScHiEf arsenals is the ability to clear out a room… and this stuff reportedly STANKS even inside the bottle!!!!

Prank on the Future In-Laws reported 09 March 2006“As soon as I received this stuff I was giddy, almost too giddy. So the first place I wanted to try it out? — my girlfriend’s house, since her parents have dealt an enormous amount of hell for her the past year for living at home for free, I thought it would be a perfect place to unleash my Liquid Ass fury. I didn’t put that much on — I sprayed just like you guys said — in a sweeping motion.

Man, that house smelled like ASS! It was the funniest thing i’ve ever experienced in my entire life. Her mom was asking everyone to check their shoes, and was getting into a fight with her dad saying he must have drug in dog shit. I swear, not laughing was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do.

Your product is the greatest thing ever created.
– Ken Donaberger”

GET YOURS TODAY!!!!!

Get a thicker skin, or get the HELL outta Dodge City!

Posted on by Eric Brooks

I’m not going to waste my bandwidth (or your time) linking to Pocono Crybaby’s recent rant about us outlaws in the wild west and how some joke of a legislation in New Jersey is going to curb all anonymous postings and blogging and protect people supposedly being slandered and defamed…

The readers digest version is: He’s cheering it on because he doesn’t want to be criticized. Any form of criticism to him is “slander”. End of story. I’m not allowed to call him a moron and a crybaby… even doing it here under my REAL name.

I know. Sick, right?

First of all, there is no way in HELL this bill is going to pass. If “Mr. Renegade Blogger” had half a brain and a little experience outside of his pathetic little world, he’d KNOW we’ve been though this over and over… Continue reading “Get a thicker skin, or get the HELL outta Dodge City!”

Problem Adults withdrawal?

Posted on by Eric Brooks

Hey all….

Yes the site is still down. The hell if I know why, and ~T~ can’t tell us anything because the hosting company isn’t telling ~T~ anything. (So take that site, multiply it by the number of all her clients… and now you know why that poor woman is close to having a nervous breakdown right now).

So, I guess it’ll be back when it’ll be back. I have a kid in the hospital right now, busy shuffling other kids back & forth and trying to keep a brand new job I just started… so frankly, I’m sort of enjoying the hiatus. I also know this kind of stuff happens with new servers, so we all can give them a little more patience and understanding as I’m sure they’re doing all they can… some sites have ALREADY returned, so that’s a good sign.

But one thing I do want to make clear… WE WILL BE BACK. I didn’t pull the site because I quit.

Believe me, when I’ve had enough of the place, I’ll just leave quietly. Too many people have invested a lot of time, money, work and energy into the clubhouse for me to do something that unfair to them. You’re paying for the hosting, all the games, and all the modules… It belongs to YOU.

I’ll mass-email all the members when it’s back… no need to keep driving yourself nuts by checking.

See you soon…
-= The Boss =-

Update 3/25/06: As of 6:30 AM…. we’re BAAAAAAAAAACK!

Three cheers for the Mighty ~T~!!!!

Obervations

Posted on by Eric Brooks

There are two kinds of people in the world…

  1. People that want to be lied to.
  2. People that *say* they don’t want to be lied to (but really, they want to be lied to).

There wouldn’t be all those Nigerian con-artists, Elvis sightings and the Weekly World News if it weren’t true. And the old breakup line “It’s not you, it’s me.” wouldn’t be so popular.

Trust me. You WANT to be lied to.
This is why we teach our kids that many of their observations are considered “rude”. Children are WAY too honest and have to be taught to lie in polite society.

I observe people all the time. The good and the bad.
Most people don’t want to hear the bad. And when they do, they seem to forget all the good things I’ve said about them. They just remember the bad. They get incredibly defensive and nasty.

I guess it looks like I’m passing judgement on them, but I’m not. I see things differently than most people. I look beyond the mask you’ve put on and see all the pain and the scars, and all your flaws… the things you either don’t know (or don’t WANT to know) about yourself.

And believe me… I am my own worst critic. You can’t put me down as well as I can.

I don’t see you and all your flaws as a good or a bad person.
It just makes you human. That’s all.

No judgments. Just observations.

THE WEB GOD SPEAKS!!!!

Posted on by Eric Brooks

… AND HE SAYS IN A LOUD BOOMING VOICE….

“Jesus Christ I gotta clean the loft today. What a mess!” OY!

  • My ash tray runneth over. I smoke WAY too damn much.
  • And cleaning comment spam out of here has become a full time job. (What’s up with the new shit that reads like gibberish?).
  • ~T~ is moving us all on a new server so I’ve been tidying up and backing up all my MySQL data.

    • Don’t you wish you were me?
    Sorry. The position of annoying & sarcastic pain in the ass on the web has already been taken! 😛

    But man, speaking of WebGods… are my eyes decieving me? Did I just get a visit by the one and only Mz. Kitty?

    I mean, damn… this woman is an internet legend! I remember a time where you couldn’t visit a blog or website that didn’t have her graphics on it! Well, of course I’m still here darling… with all these “Eric Brookses” out there clamoring for this domain name, I ain’t letting it go! 😀

    I love when I get emails from some guy named “Eric Brooks”… they’re always amazed to find someone with the same name as them (look in the white pages, genius!). Wonder if all the guys named “Danny Gonzalez” go through this… I had three friends with that name growing up.

    Is it me or do all guys named Eric Brooks think they’re the center of the universe? If I irritate you people even HALF as much as these guys do to me… I am SOOOO SORRY!

    See a therapist! Maybe we can all get a group discount or something.

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    Disclaimer: The views expressed herein are solely those of Eric Brooks. They do not necessarily reflect those of his employers, friends, contacts, family, or even his pets (though my cat, Puddy, seems to agree with me on many key issues.). In accordance to my terms of use, you hereby acknowledge my right to psychoanalyze you, practice accupuncture, and mock you incessantly with every visit. As the user, you also acknowledge that the author has been legally declared a "Problem Adult" by the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania, and is therefore not responsible for any of his actions. ALSO, the political views and products advertised on this site may/may not reflect the views of Puddy or myself, so please don't take them as an endorsement. We just need to eat.

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