Yes, “Hiatus” still means hiatus

You know what?
I think WHUZZUPDATE is going to be switched to Plain text email in the next one.

I just found out my subscribing function has been busted for the last month (you have to confirm, but you can’t confirm if you don’t get the damn confirmation email, can you?). While testing it, the HTML mail automatically registers as “spam”. I send out an html mail “thank you” with the E-Cards…. and don’t have this problem. GAH!!!!!

So, I send out my latest newsletter, titled “I (heart) my cat, I (spade) my dog“. Basically explaining why my last post has the word “hiatus” in it. Long time CyberPals know that’s a codeword for something.

Even the plain text emails are ending up in my Yahoo Bulk Mail folder… ARRRRGH!!!!!

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It’s quite foolproof (well, except for the fact that I can’t make your ISP understand it’s not spam.) If you put in your name and email above, it will tell you on the top of this page if you’re subscribed or not… so if you’re not sure, give it a whirl.

If you’re sure you ARE subscribed, check your spam filters, or bulk mail folders.

I’m going to bed….

Taking a hiatus…

Starting Tuesday, I re-emerge back into the workforce (don’t expect me to even mention it any more online, as many aspects of my life are now staying private.)

Finally bit the bullet and bought The DaVinci Code today. I’ve heard so much about it…. I’ll post a review when I’m done, k?

Update: : 1:39PM. Just finished the book. WOW.
Recommended reading if you’re a history buff/intellectual/conspiracy theorist (or all of the above)….

Adventures in Wal-Mart’s parking lot

First off… at my Wal-Mart in East Stroudsburg, there are literally 200 spots reserved for the handicapped. I mean COME ON!!!!! Do you really expect to do business with 200 gimps at once? Is it really necessary? 20 is more than enough (Unless you’re expecting Jerry Lewis to host a marathon there or something).

Something at Wulfgar’s touched on a subject very near and dear to my heart… Parking Lot Vultures. People who want your parking spot so bad that they are willing to risk life and limb to get it (even run over a poor defenseless puppy.)

I hate them!!! I hate them with a passion that I reserve only for Jethro Tull fans!!!!!
Fie upon these foul creatures… better yet, Downs Syndrome upon all their descendants!!!!

Have you ever walked in a parking lot and have these predatory bastards slowly creeping up behind you? AS YOU’RE WALKING!?!!??!
Continue reading “Adventures in Wal-Mart’s parking lot”

Yo bitch!!! Get off me!

I shared this with my new pal , Pandora, the other night and just did some interesting research.

Tell me if this ever happened to you:

About a year or two ago, I woke up to find a very old and VERY HEAVY woman on top of me (Blotchy bloated skin. Think of that body they pulled out of the lake in “Silence of the Lambs”).

I was pinned down, couldn’t breathe, and she began humming this eerie tune in my ear.

I couldn’t move. I couldn’t scream. I was paralyzed and suffocating.
Then she vanished and I never went back to sleep.

Of course I never wrote that down, because I was afraid I’d be committed.

Guess what? I’m not alone. It’s actually a condition known as “Old Hag Syndrome” or “Sleep Paralysis”.
Continue reading “Yo bitch!!! Get off me!”

Succubus Dating Service

SuccubusLonely?
Wife send you to the couch again?
Can’t afford a hooker?

Here’s a nifty little spell to summon a Succubus. For those not familiar with them, they’re the female version of the Incubus… nasty little demons that have sex with you while you sleep.

The bad news is Incubi outnumber Succubi 9 to 1.
Figures, right guys? Even in the Underworld you find yourself on a waiting list.

I bounced off a post in the Pocono Forums about ghosts to read about The Brown Lady of Rainham Hall. After that scared the crap out of me, I bounced to all sorts of supernatural phenomenon, Poltergeists to Banshees and finally to the Succubus.

Now, I’m open to the concept of some wild stuff…. but I think Incubi and Succubi are the products of someone’s wishful thinking in the Middle Ages. At an age of sexual repression where just about everything was a “no-no”, how convenient for these horny little demons to show up and cause unexplained pregnancies with unmarried women and sticky sheets for monks?

Even more hilarious is this site: Succubus Hunter.
Continue reading “Succubus Dating Service”

The Micropolitan Project

The news of our organization is starting to spread like wildfire…. we’ve settled on a name, and it is:

The Micropolitan Project

Accept no imitations. We’re the ones with the political, legal and financial clout. And we’re non-profit and non-partisan too, so we’re not catering to anyone except the best interests of the Poconos and bringing jobs here.

We’re still plotting and planning in a back room at PoconoCommuter.Com, but if you’re in the Pocono Area and want to hang with me, or Stephen, or Wayne, or Frank or Jon (I hope. Probably after Tuesday’s elections.)…
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
FOCUS GROUP
On February 23rd SMS will host a focus group discussion. The topic will be
the Future of Monroe County and how we can contribute.
As some of you know we tried last month to have a meeting but the weather
was bad. Each month we will have a meeting and focus on different topics for
discussion. At the meeting we all will pick a topic for the next meeting, so it will
give us all a chance to think about it and research it.

PLACE: BUDGET MOTEL JR’S GRILL
TIME: 5:30 TO 7:30
DATE: FEBRUARY 23RD , 2005

Contact info for RSVP
Robert Bennett
570 421 4974
smsrb-AT-ptd.net (You know what to do with the “-AT-“)

I had the honor of finally meeting the owner of the Budget (after years of patronage) at the Tech conference on Wednesday. Great guy.
If you wanna hang, you’ll find me there.

Poconos going hi tech???

Some of the big news going on here during the Year of the Phoenix.
Just came back from a technology conference at Stroudsmoor. Bob Bennett, of Secure Managed Solutions is bringing a high speed data center and digital pipeline into the Poconos. One of the advantages we have is we are in between New York City and Philadelphia, and we can serve as a gateway. We’re also on a different power grid than New York, so it makes perfect sense to make our move here in post-9/11 America.

What will this possibly mean?
* Local businesses being on the ground floor of state-of-the-art technology and websites.
* Satellite offices set up here (Read: Jobs in our area instead of commuting)
* A “Vault” containing any relevant data. Imagine if you’re in Europe and you lose your wallet and passport? You can retrieve your info anywhere on the planet.
* Grants and tax incentives to set up businesses here (Read: Jobs in our area instead of commuting… uhm, again)
* WiFi, teleconferencing and all sorts of other gadgetry will play an integral part of how business will be done.

One of the things that have long-irked me is the low standards set here. The attitude of “Well, it’s the Poconos, what do you expect?” will no longer apply. There’s no reason why “New York Standards” shouldn’t be the standards of businesses everywhere.

ESPECIALLY in the Poconos.

State Rep. Mario Scavello was there, as was John Siptroth, candidate for Kelly Lewis’ old spot.

Winner of the “Most under-dressed jerk at a business seminar” award? ME!!!!!

All the movers and shakers out here in the fields of technology and advertising were here, including my good friend Jon Hom, who has turned Digital Zone into quite a formidable powerhouse since last we spoke five years ago. Also presenting was Creative Arts Recording Labs and Secure Managed Solutions.

I have allied myself with a few power brokers out here, and projects include forming a non-partisan, non-profit organization committed to bringing people together and establishing hi-tech jobs to the Poconos, and a ThinkTank connecting businesses into the new PowerLine.

I’ve seen the future, baby…. and it is now.

And I went to H&R Block???

Taxpayers get unexpected return–sex chat

“Hi, sexy. Welcome to Intimate Encounters.”

Not exactly the kind of message you expect to hear in the middle of doing your taxes, but that’s just what some TurboTax customers are getting as they try to set up their state returns.

A message in the business version of Intuit’s market-leading tax preparation software erroneously directs customers to a sex talk operation.

That’s funny!!!!
I got 4 grand back… I’m sticking with H&R Block, thankyouverymuch. I can get an AOL account if I want to hear that crap.

PS: Jackson-Hewitt sucks.

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