Oh Dear…

It appears Betty Bowers, America’s Best Christian ™ has given The Good Book® a rest and has put Kitty Kelley’s new trash novel on her nightstand….

 

Got Munchies? 

I have no intentions of buying the book, it just seems some of the allegations are just too outlandish for me to believe:

  • The Bush family fortune *didn’t* come FROM Prescott Bush’s investments in the Third Reich, but when Barbara Bush robbed banks nationwide with Ma Barker’s gang instead
  • The Bush family feud with Dan Rather actually started when Rather asked Poppy in 1988 “Do you have any naked pictures of your wife? Wanna buy some?”

Continue reading “Oh Dear…”

Jerry Fallwell’s Greatest Hits

I’m not sure how I bounced to this in my nightly surf: Jerry Fallwell Quotes, and I think I’ve struck comedy gold.

Kids… this is why your mommy doesn’t want you eating paint chips off the floor!

“Grown men should not be HAVING sex with prostitutes unless they are married to them”
That one threw me INTO an uncontrollable giggling fit for more reasons than I care to explain.

How’s the wife, Jerry?
Continue reading “Jerry Fallwell’s Greatest Hits”

Putting the 'FUN' is dysFUNctional

REDRUM!
You know, since I’ve given up being a workaholic, I’ve discovered television.
(Why didn’t you people tell me it was in color now?)

Tell me, how can you NOT love little Stewie Griffin FROM “Family Guy“?
He’s EXACTLY what I imagined Dr. Doom was like as a toddler.

A great episode was where he was taken away by CP$ and in a foster home.
Foster child: “Come on Stewie, you can help us make our rainbow”
Stewie: “I have a better idea, why don’t we all play let’s drink what’s under the sink instead?”

The best by far was the one where Peter’s dad retires and comes to live with them. A stereotypical Irish Catholic who turns Stewie on to God with horror stories FROM the Old Testament.

Stewie: “I love this God fellow… he’s so deliciously evil!!!”
Nyuk….

Woman fired for a Kerry bumper sticker

While the Right Wing unit of the Pajama Patrol™ wastes its time on memos and professional victims, I’ve noticed a silly pattern of theirs over the last year or so…

“Why don’t the other side speak out about [insert silly subject here]?”

Well, why do they have to? Why do they have to be roped in to your silly topics instead of their own? Maybe the issue is either bullshit, irrelevant, or they have nothing to add that hasn’t already been said. Or they know that you’ll just perceive it as a surrender?

It’s an ongoing pattern with them. When they can’t find someone to argue with, they *create* this enemy that stands for the polar opposite of what they do… and that’s just idiotic, if not borderline sociopathic.

  • I have yet to meet one of those mythological liberals that thinks no one should own a gun.
  • I have yet to meet one of those Bush-hating Leftys that thinks a civilian being kidnapped and beheaded is acceptable.
  • I have yet to meet anyone that didn’t support Operation Enduring Freedom to defend ourselves and bring those responsible for 9/11 to justice……so the blanket term of “Anti-War” for anyone who can see that the war in Iraq and the War on Terror are two completely different issues… well, I call bullshit on that too.

And I CERTAINLY refuse to believe that censoring anyone’s right to express their political views is a one-sided thing… especially if Phil Parlock is the best they can come up with. (Projection, anyone?)

Here’s a story that drew the sound of crickets FROM the right wing of the Blogosphere last week….

Moulton woman says she lost job for sporting Kerry sticker on car

Sure she has. It’s called “WRONGFUL TERMINATION”. Her boss is so passionate about his guy winning, and thinks because one particular policy worked for him, he has the right to stifle the views of any of his employees.

And I would say the same thing if it was a “Bush/Cheney” bumpersticker….

… in fact I did this week as the ACLU came to town this week to defend a Pocono man’s right to put a Bush sign on his lawn. (Sorry. No links). I stand by that man’s right… it’s called “DEMOCRACY”, and our right as Americans SELECT our own leader.


But don’t worry about Lynne Gobbell though.
According to Slate, John Kerry caught wind of it and her supervisor’s spiteful remark (“You can work here or for John Kerry”), and Kerry told her “You let him know you’re working for me as of today.

 

What a guy! Not even President yet and he’s already creating jobs.
(I don’t know if this was on any Right wing sites… and personally, I don’t care.)

Lynne Gobbell said her boss fired her last week because of the Kerry-Edwards campaign sticker on the back of her car.
DAILY Photo by Clyde Stancil

MOULTON – Lynne Gobbell never imagined the cost of a John Kerry-John Edwards bumper sticker could run so high.

Lynne Gobbell said her boss fired her last week because of the Kerry-Edwards campaign sticker on the back of her car.

Gobbell of Moulton didn’t pay a cent for the sticker that she proudly displays on the rear windshield of her Chevrolet Lumina, but said it cost her job at a local factory after it angered her boss, Phil Gaddis. …
… “The lady there (at the unemployment commission) said that she has never heard of a firing like this before,” Gobbell said.

Phil Parlock: Professional Victim for hire

For the two or three people on the web who aren’t sick of “RatherGate™” , I offer even more goofy hoax-y hokey goodness.
(And no, CBS did NOT ORDER Dan Rather to commit seppuku yet. Whoever you are, stop saying that!)

Originally broken by Rising Hegemon, as seen on Atrios and Truthout.

Father of the Year 2004
What kind of a world do we live in where a man can’t protest at a political rally and NOT claim he got his ass kicked for the third election year in a row by bloodthirsty screeching moonbats? (I mean what are the odds of that happening?)

It was fun to bounce around on the internet to see if the Right Wing Unit of the Pajama Patrol™ would fall for the bait. InstaPutz did (but to his credit quickly corrected it), elsewhere, MetaFilter kind of degraded INTO several camps. One of whom thought a cuffed protester being kicked at the RNC convention made it ok.* But they eventually caught on to the gag too.
Continue reading “Phil Parlock: Professional Victim for hire”

Assault Weapons for everyone…YEE HAW!

click to enlarge
Aw yeah, baby. Can you just SMELL the testosterone in the air?
Time for us all to put on our Sunday best (or Ted Nugent t-shirts) and rush to K-Mart and buy us some TEC-9’s.

You know, maybe I had President Bush all wrong. In a day and age where Americans are scared shitless to fly planes, the government wants to know how much you have in the bank, what library books you’re taking out, and parents wake up screaming FROM nightmares that their kids may be slaughtered in school by nutcases…

HEY!!! MAYBE HAVING ASSAULT WEAPONS HIT THE STREETS IS THE WAY TO GO…YEEEEEE HAW!!!!

(Scene in school lunchroom)

Billy: “Hey Tommy, what’s in your lunchbox?”
Tommy: “Well let’s see… PB&J, a drinkbox… AND A 9mm MOTHAFUKKIN UZI, FAGGOT!!! WANT SOME? WANT SOME??? BRING IT MOTHAFUKKA!!!”

Ah ha ha… you can bet little Tommy won’t be HAVING trouble with the school bully in the playground THIS semester. (Provided Butch isn’t packing his MAC-11 too!)
Continue reading “Assault Weapons for everyone…YEE HAW!”

FundaMENTAList brainwashing

Freedom at Last for Pakistanis Who Aided Taliban

“The mullahs in my area said that as Muslims we should go to Afghanistan to fight a jihad,” 22-year-old Amir Khan, FROM Peshawar, told Reuters.

“I can not deny this was my intention. I arrived in Afghanistan in October. I spent three days in Kabul and then went to Mazar-i-Sharif. I was captured the day after I arrived there.”

Like many of his comrades, Khan said he had received no military training and insisted he was a religious student who had been “misled” by the mullahs.

Ahh, my dear “misled” Muslim brother:
I feel your pain. I really do. You and I have both been brainwashed and played as a sucker by the leaders of our respective religions at some point or another. Can you name one atrocity in human history that didn’t have religious overtones tied in it somewhere?

While I admit the Christian fundamentalists (and I can’t stress the “MENTAL” part of that word enough.), are as insane and dangerous* as their Islamic counterparts…

…I am pretty sure I wouldn’t grab a gun, run to another country, and become an ENEMY COMBATANT on some evangelist’s “say-so”.

That makes you a dumbass. And I think you realize it now.
Continue reading “FundaMENTAList brainwashing”

Home dentisty for the Manly Man

Yes. I’ve been a cranky S.O.B. for a few days now.
One thing I neglected to mention FROM the Beach Boys concert was how I pulled another cracked tooth out of my mouth and have been in mind-numbing agony since.

At the rate I’m going, the only way I’m going to enjoy a Wendy’s triple biggie sized combo is pureed and through a straw.
Continue reading “Home dentisty for the Manly Man”

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