That New House Feelin’

Whoo hoo!

Took the day off yesterday to sign paper work closing on my new home!

A smaller, more modest little spot I can call my own.. my first home, ever.

It isn’t a mansion, true, but I prefer older homes anyway. It’s a prairie style home with a long, concrete front porch. A large wooden swing ambles in the wind at the end of the porch on the left. There is brown tile in the entry way, hardwood floors in every room, spanish tile in the kitchen, a huge 2 car garage, a nice wooden deck, a white iron gate encircling the entire property for the safety and security of all and an enormous two story tree house in the back yard for the kids.

I couldn’t be happier. It would’ve gone smoother if the selling realtor hadn’t been a dick, but I refuse to let that get me down. Now to move!

O, goody!

I just thought I’d share the bit of happy news I have to spare. It’s part of my “eventual good news will not be left out” commitment.

Whoo hoo.. I’m a home owner!

Mountain Laurel Center for the Performing Arts is back, baybee!

State Rep. Kelly Lewis has done it again:
Lewis Announces Mountain Laurel Center Labor Day Concert Series“.

Of course I knew about it. It’s one of many surprises and changes we’ve got coming down the the pike for the ailing entertainment/tourist industry of the Poconos.

A lot of water and bad blood (and wasted money) has gone under the bridge since last year’s historic opening with Tom Ridge, and the disaster it slowly became.

It was run (to the ground) by morons.
Continue reading “Mountain Laurel Center for the Performing Arts is back, baybee!”

Arrrgghhh! I have fallen off the blog and can’t get up!

Actually they rounded up some work for me to fritter away at this week!
Neat, huh?

Not to mention I wasn’t too eager to rain on Eric’s birthday parade with my senseless, ceaseless whining. (Hey he’s a great guy, but even I’m starting to get tired of my mewling!)

So we’re all still doing the big, fat wait and see routine. Looks like since I’m occupational instead of getting a termination package (what I wanted so I can focus on school and move onto another, better career) I’m going to be forced INTO a worse job, (so nice to be just a number to be pushed around)

It works like this:
Continue reading “Arrrgghhh! I have fallen off the blog and can’t get up!”

Happenstance

Pardon me while I burst…

I’m going to go out on a limb here. I hope I do not offend, but I just have to get this off my chest.

It drives me mad when people say, “Everything happens for a reason”

No. It. Does. Not.

Look, I wanna believe in the tooth fairy and jolly green giant too, but that’s just wishful thinking. The fates are not attending anybody’s birth; one pulling the thread of your life, one measuring and another cutting.
Continue reading “Happenstance”

Jim McGreevey Jokes

I seem to be getting hit by a lot of referrals for Jim McGreevey jokes.
I mean what… The Rude Pundit wasn’t brutal enough?

Well, I haven’t heard any yet, but I can certainly blow (no pun intended) the dust off of some old jokes…Are you FROM Joisey?


In the maternity ward, a supervisor noticed all of the babies crying.

All except one, little Jim McGreevey.

One by one they all were silenced as the nurse popped a pacifier in their mouths.

All except one, little Jim McGreevey.

Supervisor: Look at how wonderfully behaved the McGreevey child is… he never cried and you never had to pop a pacifier in his mouth.

Nurse: If I pull his pacifier out of his ass, he’ll cry just like the rest of them. Trust me.


Continue reading “Jim McGreevey Jokes”

Death by Lay off

Aaarrrgghhh!

Kill me now. Please.

Sorry to have been so quiet lately. But after the announcement that our teams layoffs will be announced September 17 (which is virtually guaranteed to wipe us out), the site where we are located decided to move us to another floor!

They moved our phones upstairs like this was going to happen tomorrow! We all began cleaning out our offices and dumping stuff. I have literally spent the last 3 days pulling staples out of expired paperwork so it could be dumped in the recycle bin! 3 days!

I was finally able to catch up today. We were then notified that somebody “jumped the gun” and we weren’t supposed to be moved until everything could be moved at once. (hmm.. gosh, makes sense) So of course it took 3 additional days to get our phones back!

Once the hurry up and wait work is done, I just know it’s going to go back to endless days of absolutely nothing to do. There is nothing worse. God, how I loathe being idle. *sigh*

So that’s my rant for today. It is against the stupidity of corporate bureaucracy.

more to come…

McGreevey: So friggin’ what?

I kinda figured there was more to the story of NJ Governor Jim McGreevey stepping down. If he had child pr0n, or was embezzling, or just fucking up the state of New Jersey beyond REPAIR (assuming that’s even possible), that I can understand.

But an affair… with a gay guy? People, get a grip!
He owes his wife and family one hell of an explaination, but I don’t see how that affects him as a governor. I assumed some kind of blackmail/lawsuit was in the works.

He’s a homo, a nancy boy. Big deal. I could have told you that FROM his pictures. He’s too well-groomed to be a straight man (*raises eyebrow at PA Senator Rick Santorum*).

But naturally it’s the “watercooler topic du jour” at work today.
Everyone agrees it’s no reason to step down, but then come the dividing lines between the sexes:

Women (Vaginum Illogicus) – Feel for Mrs. McGreevey, as they feel this is a worse blow to their womanhood than if their husbands had a fling with a cheap female hooker. They don’t understand how she can even stand there with all smiles at the conference.

Men (Penile Beerguzzlus) – “Aw hell, if the situation was reversed, and it was MY wife, I’d like to be there with a video camera, or at least get some polaroids out of the deal!”

Naturally, the ever-so-predictable “All men are pigs” came out of the female camp after I, uhm I mean, this person said this.

Amazing how men and women see things differently.

I’m not dead. No, really.

For a guy whose slogan is “Only the coroner will know for sure”, you can bet your bippy it must be bad when I beg for a doctor’s appointment.

About two weeks ago I damn near collapsed. I come home & I can’t see straight and all of the caffeine pills in the world aren’t helping. Hence, my moreso-than-usual preoccupation with death, lately.

Well, I finally got the results FROM the tests at the hospital.

Are you sitting down?
Continue reading “I’m not dead. No, really.”

Pass the cigars around!

New ‘Bushism’ Born at Bill Signing

“Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we,” Bush said. “They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we.”

See? Who said ingenuity is dead in America?
If the administration wants to hurt us too… well darn it, I guess it’s okay by me.

As long as it’s new and innovative.

Good for you, Mr. President.

In other unrelated news, Michael Moore suprisingly accepted a new job as Bush’s speechwriter yesterday…

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