Please adjust your bookmarks, and vote, damn you…

Kira, the Desert Flower has moved. Got a sharp new design, and went back to her old monniker of “Drawn Outside The Lines”.
………………….

Kim, everyone’s favorite tough-as-nails survivor has moved The SICK SIDE to her new home at Serenity-Quest.
………………….-

My co-worker, Brian Burbank, has a thread going on his message board: “Lines FROM Dumb & Dumber”… flex your trivia muscles and add some quotes FROM the movie, will ya?
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As you can see on the right… my “Testimonials” are in full swing. A new one every time you refresh the page.

I need more testimonials!!!!
How have I changed your life?
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Cheyenne is losing at the Nude Bloggie Awards. Voting ends Sunday. She has vowed to carry out her threat to go with less T&A… AND MORE BARNEY!!!

Folks… I don’t even consider that funny.
Don’t do this to me and all the other horny hetero guys on the net…. VOTE FOR GNOME-GIRL!!!!
………………………………

**// Oh well, there was a long diatribe here about us guys and our preoccupation with our peckers, how most household items are phallic symbols, and how our next president needs to have a REALLY BIG DICK (I’m talking Vin Diesel/Milton Berle caliber here… before our next military action is called “Operation: Penis Envy”). But alas it is gone now.

Probably for the best… the thought of me and my big lips being someone’s bitch in a federal penitentiary is just too much for me to handle. //**

You’re still here…???

Yeesh… my attempts to be boring and neglect everyone isn’t working.
Must try to bore you harder. (Take that any way you want.)

Well, since I’m still deep INTO a bunch of projects (one is a superhero cartoon short I hope you’ll like.) In the meantime, let me direct you to some more entertaining places in CyberTown….

Have you guys met Jet and her husband Speedbump?
They’re friends of The Mighty “T”… so that makes them friends of mine (If I know what’s good for me!) :0)

They’re a fun bunch. Jet just wrote her account on the private little war us parents face in America.

Speedbump is hilarious… his antics remind me a lot of my own, and we should run a contest to see who spends more time on the couch after pissing the Mrs. off. Some of the stuff Jet writes about him reminds me of what Carole would write about me if she were blogging…

Of course if Carole had legs like Jet…
I wouldn’t be … uhm, … uh…

I forgot what I was going to say. Go pay them a visit.

Really, really busy….

I know… I know….
It looks like I’m ignoring you all but I am chest-deep in various projects.

I’m trying to answer everyone privately in the last thread, there’s just too many things to add, extend sympathies, and thank you for… I also have a ton of emails to contend with.

Besides, I have absolutely nothing to talk about.

But hey… thanks for stopping by. :0)

It’s Vectors for me…

Interesting Discovery:
I use photoshop for most of my graphics. Then I open up the .PSD files in Fireworks to make .gifs (they just look better to me.)

  • Since fireworks is vector-based (rather than rasterized), I converted the .psd file I rendered in poser INTO a .png (Portable network graphics).
  • Then I imported the .png file INTO flash for the front page of EricBrooks.Com
  • Now it expands & contracts with no loss in quality. I couldn’t do that if I had imported a .jpg. Plus the flash file is only 39kb. Using a .jpg that file size (800x600px) would have put it well over 100k.

    It’s vector graphics FROM now on for me….
    (Just a little something to keep you busy while I DELETE a bunch of files here…)

    Damn…

    I am so sorry guys.

    (Please respect their wishes and DON’T leave a comment on their site…)

    It’s a time for them to grieve, be angry over something that will never have a sensible reason for happening, and have some time alone.

    Believe me, I know. :0(
    But at least I still know the feeling of parenthood… I can’t even begin to imagine their pain.

    Extending our freedom and democracy to the world…

    The President uses the word “freedom” in almost every sentence in his speeches, doesn’t he?

    The Patriot Act II currently in it’s drafting stages picks up where the first one left off… to throw the First and Fourth Amendment out the window for the sake of expediency.

    It’s the same mentality that jurors use to send an innocent black man off to prison. “Maybe it’s not him, but at least we got *somebody*. Well, he’ll commit a crime eventually, look at him! Let’s just get him off the streets now.”

    Sometimes the police stop someone. They know in their guts this guy is up to no good. They’ve been on the streets so long that they develop a sixth sense that way. They find nothing, they *have* to let them go… only to have them commit a horrendous crime, and the department takes the heat FROM an angry public that uses 20/20 hindsight screaming “How could you let them go???”

    Procedures. Checks and balances.
    They’re there for a reason.
    Continue reading “Extending our freedom and democracy to the world…”

    Yet another Michael Jackson’s a freak knee-jerk post…

    Rewind the clock twenty years or so…
    May 1983… You see a little -=e=- getting ready to graduate high school. The end of the year talent show, had me and a GROUP of guys FROM the school band calling ourselves “The Jazzy Gents” on stage…

    The program had us doing a run of the mill, Glenn Miller “In the mood”-type jazz progression, the inner-city crowd, subjected to a rather lackluster night, restrained by an old-fashioned teacher running it, were finally content…

    Suddenly, the music stopped.

    The drummer breaks INTO a solo, followed by a modern drum beat. I played an all-too-familiar bass line… the crowd was on their feet.

    We decided “Fuck it… we’re playing Billie Jean!!!”. If we were leaving the school, we were going out in style. Two break dancers joined us on either side, recreating “The Gloved One”s electrifying performance on “Motown 25”, just weeks earlier.

    The crowd went fucking wild!
    Yeah… we planned the rebellion all along. ;0)

    It was as if a riot was going to break out at any second… the guys handling the lights decided to get extra creative, we were instrumental, so the audience sang every word to the #1 song in the country, danced in the aisles, despite the terrified teachers ordering everyone to stay seated. The steam coming out of the teacher’s ears, over the change in program, provided one hell of a smoke machine effect. :0)

    The coordinator of the SHOW finally got tired of us defying her, the back stage crew ignoring her orders to close the curtains on us… she finally unplugged our amplifiers when we were halfway through “Beat it“.

    Bitch.

    As a child of the 80’s, I couldn’t think of anyone that *WASN’T* a Michael Jackson fan. Ever see the scene in “Beverly Hills Cop” where Eddie Murphy chuckles at the white couple with the Jheri Curls and the “Thriller” Jackets?.

    That might as well had been me. I had my hair permed twice, and paid $150 bucks for a silk “Thriller” jacket in 1984 (shut up.). I’d get off of elevators in Manhattan to a chuckling receptionist watching me in their monitors: “Hey, your spins are really improving! *snicker*”

    It was truly Michael Jackson’s world in those days. We were only living in it. Being born and raised in the entertainment biz, his music and moves were pure magic.

    20 years later, I watched in horror at the price the man paid to become “The King of Pop” on 20/20 tonight.

    He seemed more defensive about his plastic surgery, than his hanging an infant over a balcony in Germany. He twitches when his father is mentioned. And honestly thinks nothing is wrong with his kids saying they “have no mother”.

    Most disturbing of all, is how he just doesn’t get how inapropriate his contact with children is… sleeping in his bed with him. Calling parents who have a problem with it “whacky”. (!!!)

    I can’t even begin to figure out what has fucked him up. Was it the torment and abuse of his father? The fact that he never had a childhood? HAVING his head filled with Jehovah’s Witness doctrine? The fact that he’s spent his entire life in the spotlight, surrounded by people telling him anything he wanted to hear?

    Is it all of the above?
    Or is it a deliberate move to get back in the spotlight, as it’s the only life he’s ever known?

    Ask anyone in the entertainment biz. There’s no such thing as “bad press”.

    In other news, some guy named Phil Spector shot and killed a woman in his home.

    Oh. I’m sorry… back to Michael Jackson and all his surgeries…
    I can’t express the sadness and pity I have for the man these days.

    Parrot Joke War!

    Leeeeeet’s get reaaaaaady to RUUUUUUUUUUMMMMMMM {SQUAWK!} BBBBLLLLLLLEEEEEE!

    How in the hell did this joke elude Solonor and his evil henchpeople (even Planned Parrothood)?
    It’s a fourth-grade classic….

    KARATE PARROT
    A little boy brings his parrot in school for “show & tell”.
    “My parrot knows karate, he is a black belt in several forms of martial arts… watch”

    The little boy orders his parrot: “KARATE THE DESK!”
    The teacher jumps back as the tiny parrot squawks “Hiiiiiii-ya!” and karate-chops her desk in half with one mighty blow with his wing.

    “KARATE THE BLACKBOARD!”
    The slate blackboard shatters in a million pieces with one kick.

    The principal storms in FROM the noise and the kids screaming in jubilation, demanding an explaination.

    As the frightened teacher fills him in, the principal exclaims:
    “Oh… KARATE, MY ASS!!!!”

    bAA-DUM-PAH!!!!

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    Disclaimer: The views expressed herein are solely those of Eric Brooks. They do not necessarily reflect those of his employers, friends, contacts, family, or even his pets (though my cat, Puddy, seems to agree with me on many key issues.). In accordance to my terms of use, you hereby acknowledge my right to psychoanalyze you, practice accupuncture, and mock you incessantly with every visit. As the user, you also acknowledge that the author has been legally declared a "Problem Adult" by the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania, and is therefore not responsible for any of his actions. ALSO, the political views and products advertised on this site may/may not reflect the views of Puddy or myself, so please don't take them as an endorsement. We just need to eat.


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