I just finished wiping off the iced tea that I just spewed all over my screen.

I just caught a glimpse of the “Halcyon” font at Printfont, with his little, uh, “dingbats” and I totally lost it!!! OMG, HAHAHA!!! I love that guy! I had to download it.

I already have Heather’s. I use it to write steamy love letters to myself, and then I leave ’em around the house for Carole to find.

I’m an insensitive bastard that way.

Hey Jo, is a Webmistress font coming out soon? Your new checks from the bank came here by mistake. :0)

Can anybody please tell me the point of “Columbus Day”????

Leif Erickson and Amerigo Vespucci were here waaaay before him, and the so-called “Indians” also beat him here by, like, 40,000 years… so what’s the big deal? He set out for a shorter route to the Indies; and after months of his crew, living on a steady diet of vermin, going: “Uh…helloooooo..? You sure you did this ‘exploring/captain’ stuff before, pal??!!???… he lands on the other side of the planet.

The guy was a friggin’ moron. Simple as that.

And he didn’t land in what we would call “America” either. He landed somewhere in
(Oh, get this!) The WEST Indies.

Talk about covering up a SERIOUS FUCK-UP!!!!
It gives me hope that *I’LL* get a holiday someday.

So I’m hearing everyone wishing each other “Happy Columbus Day” today. And that’s it.

Now I feel like we should be doing something with this “third day off” besides winterizing our summer places. But what?

• Sit at a table and give thanks to the Lord that we screwed the Indians over… oh wait, that’s Thanksgiving.
• Give out gifts. But what? Fried Rats? A Compass?

• And you thought no one would notice….Had fun in Reno, huh?
• Congratz Matt & Kay…
• Heavy stuff tonight… forgiveness and serenity. Definite “must-reads” and compels me to contribute to these philosophical posts: Do you think they’re real?

The nightmare continues. Make no mistake.

This time, all of my real-life friends and family are involved and helping. I’ve let a few online friends know what’s been going on. It makes our troubles since June seem trivial.

How bad is it…? I had gray hairs develop in a week’s time. I’m only 35.

Fuck you Poconos! I wanna go home. Carole wants to stay & fight… I want to grab what we can and run for it!

We drove in for my aunt’s wake in Glendale, Queens, yesterday. The city I swore never to set foot back in, two years ago, never seemed more beautiful… the cold steel buildings welcomed me as we crossed the Triborough Bridge.

Driving though Main Street, Flushing, the kids thought I lost my mind.

“OOH… Grafitti!!!”
“LOOK, A MUGGING!!!!”

“Lock your doors, kids…those two guys are looking to carjack someone!!!!”
” I can’t read a goddamn sign on the streets, it’s all in Korean…ain’t it great???”

The kids were terrified, and daddy was in total bliss! It all just felt…right?

But is it any different? The kids are frightened at home. Life is a nightmare in the Poconos too, with so many legal hassles… they have no security there. We left New York City to give them a better life. Yet they’re scared. They’re always scared… and it’s killing me.

I can take any punk down in the streets. Did it my whole life. I have the street savvy to survive New York City.

But I can’t fight a corrupt legal system.
Fuck you Poconos!!! I want to go home… before it’s too late.

• Cast my vote for Karl Auerbach for Board Of Directors in ICANN today. What did you guys do to make the web a better place, lately? (Kudos to The Head Lemur for keeping such an important issue in the spotlight, and for being such a good sport in a great race.)
• From my fortune cookie this afternoon: “Celebrating a party, when the villagers have all lost interest long ago, makes for a lot of wasted cake…”

Rocky’s underwear is on auction at eBay. Bidding’s picking up momentum, and getting fierce. (Hey, with Rocky, Sue and Psycho Mike plugging this website all morning on the radio, you *know* I’m gonna keep pushing this! Hey, Rocky even signed my guestbook…KEWL!!!!)

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Aw man, I SUCK!
(Via Zeldman:) HAPPY BIRTHDAY HEAD LEMUR!

• Who said no one is allowed to have a say in what they feel on their pages?
• Who said you can’t have some fun? I’m a big boy, I can take it. Hell, who knew you had a sense of humor?
• Let me get this straight, YOU’RE offended at being on the list of “chicks with egos” now???? Remind me what the name of your site is again? ctrl-alt-…..?????(yes, the “title” attribute works in a <B> tag, did you know that?)
• And I “started it” by posting a link to your site, and sharing my innermost thoughts in a Yahoo Club with over 500 members? Learned my lesson, it’ll never happen again.
• For the millions of you that constantly talk about me, and think I’m paranoid…STOP IT!!!! I’m not PARANOID!!!!!
• I barely take myself seriously… much less you two yutzes! I’m not playing “victim” here, I’m just too busy for a flame-war right now.I can pencil you and Jenett in for the second week of November to make your lives a living hell, okay? Best I can do…can I go back to work now…Pleeeeeeease????? It’ll be like old times again, I promise.

That’s right kiddies! Grab yourself a piece of history by bidding on WKRZ’s Rocky Rhodes’ underwear!

Psycho Mike swiped ’em and they’re up for grabs and is auctioning them on eBay. Don’t let some lunatic overseas get them!!!!! (btw, NO SKIDMARKS) Bidding starts at $1.00!!!!!!

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PS: Happy Birthday Lisa Marie O’Brien!

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Carole & I saw a dog today running around in the woods behind our house (where I buried all the family pets) we both could have sworn it was Spanky for his annual visit. (Spooky stuff, huh?).

Awww…. this is what it’s all about folks. Friendship & sticking together.

For those who barely care about soap operas: The next to last entry in MiScHiEf Anonymous hurt Miz Kitty’s feelings. So buddy Joe Jenett lashes out in his own wimpy way (sorry, Joe…I gag from the taste of alcohol, so being “town drunk” is rather impossible). Faith, knowing that I would never read that entry, turns the screws and spells it out for folks like me who are too dense to understand this oblique reference.

I wonder if any of these boneheads decided to check with Miz Kitty to see if I’ve apologized, before launching a new war on me? I don’t even have the fucking time for this schoolyard bullshit right now.

And you wonder why I have no respect for any of these bozos.