“I carry my crucifix under my deathlist

Forward my mail to me in Hell
Liars and the martyrs lost faith in The Father
Long lost in the wishing well”
– Mötley Crüe : “Wild Side” -Heard this last night on KNAC.Com.

That’s poetry man! Loud & Wild… just like me. (It’s not too loud, you’re just too fucking old, that’s all! {Mid-Life Crisis Commences in 24 days, got it all planned out…thanks for asking!})

Dave Bastian.Com– He totally nailed what I’ve been trying to get this site to look like for years! Another proud disciple of “How To Draw Comics The Marvel Way“… he rocks!

L.A.F.A.S.A – It stands for LouisianA Foundation Against Sexual Assault. Lots of great resources and information for rape victims. I’ve done a lot of pro-bono graphic work for Stephanie Prescia. The guys who did her site did an awesome job

Shake Your Booty – This was sent via my Mother-in-law. She recently got AOL, and loves to forward every dancing/animated thing she can find. Of all the tasteless things I’ve seen in my life… this is definitely one of them.
(Warning: You will be bombarded with pop-ups when you close the window.)

Note: Yes I have noticed he has since corrected it. But due to the flood of email I got, and since I worked so hard on this comedy bit… you can’t seriously expect me to be mature and just “drop it” now do ya?”

SITE NEWS: [7/27/00] … Also, if you’ve recently submitted your site for inclusion in i2k, it may be one of the sites under serious consideration right now… soon, I will be contacting those accepted (and don’t hold your breath, E.B. :=] )… ”

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Who’s “E.B.”????
Who on earth could he be talking about????
I did a quick search on CoolStop for anyone with the initials “E.B.”, and here’s what I got:

Well, let’s see…
Eric Brooks – Naah…. couldn’t be him. Too Christ-like and saintly

The Easter Bunny – I personally don’t think fucking with a 6-foot rabbit is particularly wise. He’s the Easter Bunny, for cripes sake!!!! What does he care about this petty-ass crap????

Erika Brooks – Could it be that Joe Jenett thinks he can attack my kids now, since he’s so far below my radar screen these days???? For his sake, I hope not.

What does Erika think? Erika is too busy teaming up with Fiona Elise Brown talking back & forth on cellphones, contracted to redesign a major corporate site in NYC. (Considering their talents, and similar medical histories… they’re gonna make a killer team!). Erika has more talent in her little pixie pinky, than me & Joe combined. She seriously can’t be bothered with daddy’s silly little feuds… she’s out to make MONEY!

So, I guess he was talking about another “E.B.”,
so never mind.

• Jayde Skies – How absolutely ironic that the site that inspired me to find a 3-D program liked my “CyberPal” doll so much. (Hi Jayde!).If anyone’s interested in Free Stuff: I used Anim8or, a free 3D/Animation program to make it.
• Offering the peace pipe to Graham (once again)… I just got off the phone with Mattel, and the “Grudnuk” doll is coming out in the next series (along with the “Mr. Jenkins” and the Matt Rossi blow-up” dolls.)…HAPPY NOW???
• With Matt gone, The Webmistress has been given the burdenous tasks of keeping me entertained and out of trouble. She delivers with her hysterical new version of “Footprints In The Sand“.Jeez, first Zeldman rips her ideas and content off… now K10K???? Take it as a compliment, sweetie!

Not that I think there’s anything wrong with it… but everyone’s selling T-Shirts & mugs related to their sites. The only reason I’m holding out (’cause we all know I’m more than happy to turn a quick buck!). Press puts out. I have a conscience, and don’t want to sell you crap either. How are their shirts anyway?

In the meantime, I feel a parody coming on….

Order Today!!!!

• s t r a n d e d – It only took three weeks to find her and thank her for putting in a plug for my Font Site. Really nice design work there, Xaymara!
• nothing online > realworld – I had apparently corrupted poor Matthew’s character last week, from my “Top 10 Signs Your Child May Be Too Old For Breastfeeding“. Well, my young Canadian friend, just know that I am essentially an Evil, malevolent being in my realm… my friends don’t call me “The Bastard” or “gOdOfMiScHiEf” for nothing. :0)

Wheeeeee…. after having a four day vacation, earlier this week from the net, I may do it again…. I’ll probably build up my internet broadcasting empire(like I always dreamed) with a brand-spankin’ new E-TV – All Eric All The Time, more detailed features this time (since the first and only broadcast was in March).

What’s that?

HEY, FUCK YOU!!!!

Remind me again how much you jerk-offs are paying me to keep you fucking entertained??!?!

That’s it… all of you, OFF MY SITE….NOW!!!!!! You’re not allowed back here for THREE FUCKING MONTHS!!!!!

SEE YA!!!!!!

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..

…
Wait… not you! I was talking to them…. we’re still cool, right?

Alright!!!! Here’s what’s going on….

• Got the new Search Engine fixed. After almost 48 straight hours…. I figured out the problem… I have more crap on this site than this thing could index!!!! So I don’t have WHUZZUP! orEG2 Fonts indexed in it. Chances are, they’ll both get separate search engines.
• WHUZZUPDATE – Coming out Sunday, to commemorate my upcoming “mid-life crisis” (scheduled 31 days from today) FREE GIVEAWAYS from a hidden location!!!! (psst… I suggest you subscribe, ASAP!)

Yes Matt, add me to the list of people who consider you a DAMN FOOL for turning down Damnbaby Diva’s marriage proposal. (For those of you who missed Pete Milan’s brilliant reasoning on this; a “Damnbaby” is a woman who will walk past your average, living, breathing male, and the first words that come out of his mouth are “DAAAAAAMN, BAY-BEE!“.). Which is now triggering men to “pop out of the woodwork” (subtle Freudian/Jung pun intended) and profess their lust for Faith. Question is: What the hell did I write to give everyone the impression that I was one of them? Sure she’s witty, intelligent, probably rich and a redhead (which so happens to be the top of the female food chain)… but I made a little harmless comment about the young lady sleeping in her underwear, that’s all. Even Carole grilled me for fucking hours over that one. I’m a flirt, not a cheat…big difference! To add insult to injury, “my pal” then diverts his obvious hornbag surges towards her, and throws ME in the hot seat! How fucking immature can you get???? Did I mention Graham Freeman’s DEFINITELY got a thing for Faith? Read the back entries (if you can) on Virulent Memes. Come on Graham…how transparent can you get???? Like you really had a bone to pick with the Divas…She is kinda cute, ain’t she?Don’t be shy, Matt… you know you want her…Besides, I’m just dyyyyyying to give that “Singing/Talking Bass” to someone as a wedding gift…. :0)

Redesigned the site… of course, I can’t get the damn search engine to work….

My Referrer log is going nuts as Skizz debuts his latest masterpiece: “Designer Minds“… of course his server must have crashed because I haven’t had a chance to see it yet…. cool questions too. Stufff that you really have to think about… none of that “What’s your favorite color” crap. This is Skizz we’re talkin’ about… SKIZZ IS THA FUTURE, BOYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!

Faith sleeps in her undies… tee hee! She said some other stuff too, I don’t remember….

The Tribe called Brooks was in Brooklyn on Sunday for the final night of the Feast at Our Lady Of Mount Carmel. Our mission was threefold: To visit Uncle John (who is the Religious Educational Director there.) To see the Giglio (5 stories high, weighs several tons, lifted by a hundred testosterone-charged Italian men, and carried up and down the block.). And to get Steak & Mozzarella heros… (which of course were SOLD OUT).

Fuck it, I’m going to bed
(Picture of the Giglio courtesy of Doug Safranek)