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Fuque La France!

In lieu of actual content, I thought I’d just regurgitate a comment and make a whole post out of it. (Funny, I was just at Donna’s talking about wanting to do this.)

Some dude named Orion puts in a cameo at Emperor Misha’s joint where he “fisks” a new French ad, tentatively titled:

“Stop picking on us, or we shall get more nasal and snobby“, or something like that.

… starring none other than Woody Allen; Americas favorite inbreeder since Jerry Lee Lewis.

So here is my comment at the ole Emperor’s Palace… why waste a good tidbit of comedy? And I thought the six people that visit me regularly should enjoy it too!

So this is about tourism and lost revenues? They’ve treated American tourists like shit for decades… waitaminnute, I thought only the WINNERS get to rewrite the history books???

“When you insult the French people, simply because they are French, then it’s a kind of racist campaign.”

Do I need to break out a friggin’ dictionary to define “racism” here??? When did the French become a “race”? Did anthropologists open up a new sub-human genre called Homo-Eiffelupyouranus or something?

Picking on those little French pansies has been a FINE American tradition for hundreds of years. Personally I have been waiting for this whole Iraq ordeal to be over with so I can resume picking on these little nasal wimps for all the RIGHT reasons.

And oh, Woody Allen wants to get in on the act?
Let me blow off the dust on my “Book O’ Roman Polanski” jokes. Stick with the classics, I say!

EricBrooks.Com® – Where ridiculing the French isn’t really racism. We think of it as more along the lines of “Making fun of the handicapped”.

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This entry was posted on Tuesday, June 3rd, 2003 at 2:52 am and is filed under Political Cannon Fodder. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.

Donna

My post was made because I am disgusted by the treatment the French received for not agreeing with GW’s new world order.

No, being French is not a race and bashing them is not racial, it is, however, immature, stupid and highly arrogant. Depending on the types of comments, it could be considered hate speech, in my opinion.

I do not condone the bad-mouthing the French have endured at the hands of american extremists with my-way-or-the-highway attitudes.

I think the whole thing was completely ignorant and because this behaviour was endorsed by the government sickens me even more.

Maybe I’m not understanding your point, Eric…or you didn’t understand mine.
-=e=- the merciless

… or maybe you didn’t understand mine (that happens). I’ve been picking on the French for years. I’m not doing this over this whole war. I agreed with their stance up to a point (I thought they were wrong about veto-ing ANY form of military action under any circumstances). And I even stated on your site “Why aren’t we directing this same venom at the Germans, or Russians?”

Bush’s tactics of bullying people to get his way is ridiculous. (which I assume was your point?) Never have I seen late night television afraid to pick on a President before this. Leno is still going on Clinton jokes, for cryin’ out loud.

It’s like there’s this whole “Oh, shut your mouth!” / “you can’t say that” thing going on, which is silly.

My remarks are not politically-based. The French are just funny-ass people. Perhaps I did this too soon, I don’t know.
kim

OMG, too funny! You also pointed out that the French have been treating American tourists like shit for decades….under those circumstances, picking on the French might still be considered immature, at least by some, but certainly not uncalled for.

Purely coincidental: I grew up about 40 minutes away from Jerry Lee Lewis’s home. I love the man’s music, but what the hell was he thinking? Not only did he marry his cousin, but she was a child…geez.
Faith

OK so the French suck. Not news. What’s ewwing me out is that Liberty Belle (notice the .fr email addy) and her thing about Woody & Soon Yee not being totally naseous-making. So the fuck what if it’s not “technically incest.” And 17 is NOT legal age in NY, where they were located at the time.

Ick. Ick. Ick.
John

Leno is a toad. He’s a corporate shill and he lost backbone about the time he starting selling Doritos to top off his talk show checks and cash in on his nightly backside-suck-fest with celebrities.

The anti-French thing is pure immaturity writ large. Hell, they were fully in their right to fight any war action, because as we now discovered the words of Bill Hicks have rung true again; you need two sides to call it a war. It’s immaturity tainted with cruelty and wanton ignorance.

We have an interdependent relationship with Europe and boycotts of French, German, or American products hurt everyone. Maybe your neighbor works in a BMW plant and your holier-than-thou, “I must punish those that don’t agree with me politically” actions will likely put him out of work.

And now I must fully purge this steaming wad of political mucus on my own site or it will clog my kindly cognitive creative output for the rest of the week.
Maria

Mwwwaaahhhhh!!!! I LOVE YOU E!!!! You always make my day!!!! )
Faith

John, you make me want to hate the French even more.
John

big fucking surprise
Tammie

-e-,I’m sorry that I haven’t had time to come by lately I’ve been working a lot lately.But I say,hell yeah,pick on them ! The French are nothing but a bunch of snobs !
-=e=- the merciless

Re: Woody/Soon Yee. I’m sorry. Any way you slice it, that is just plain nasty. Any man that has ever dated a woman with kids *KNOWS* there is no way you can have a relationship with a woman, without some form of interaction with her children (be it birth, or by adoption). The fact that Woody and Soon Yee ALREADY had some form of relationship going on for a while long before it went public proves my point. There’s also this age-old, mid-life crisis issue of him trading in the older model for the younger one.

Now I know I’m almost at the age where I’m going to buy a red two-seater sports car, a Harley, and shopping for a trophy wife.

… but any chick that I have vivid memories of being in a diaper? That’s where I draw the line.

Re: France. I’m thinking that I definitely did this too soon. I will say one thing. If they were the “cheese eating surrender monkeys” that we like to sterotype them, then they CERTAINLY wouldn’t have taken a stand against us on this war. They would have just followed the big dogs, and shut thier mouth.

But I don’t want to talk about politics here any more… really I don’t.
-=e=- the merciless

Hi Tammie! Well, same here about visiting.
And yeah, they’re snobs. Same damn problem I always had with them.
John

Is it easier to label a people snobbish when you’ve have never been there or is it merely a result in thinking that the actions of government officals represent the rest of the country?

What’s more important, putting the spotlight on common interests or focusing on the areas conflict and expanding on them? Is it worth a massive bridge burning to prove a political point of view?
-=e=- the merciless

Well, as far as the “snobbish” stereotype… with me, it’s based on plenty of French people I’ve come to meet in NY. Their time-honored tradition of treating Americans like crap has been well documented too.

What did you mean by “political bridge-burning”? Did you mean me, or this country?

Me… I’m finding common ground with bloggers. I’ll never 100% agree with anyone. If I disagree, I skip their post (if they’re the type that just wants high-fives or “I agrees” in their comments.). I welcome all kinds of views here though.

The U.S. punishing France for opposing them? I think that just pretty fucking stupid. It’ll just draw us a long list of enemies (plenty of other countries fit thier criteria), and go back to the same question “Why the hell are we friends with Saudi Arabia”?

It’s time for everyone to come together again. Nothing gets resolved if we don’t talk about it.
John

Well, I’ve had a positive experience with nearly every person I dealt with in Paris during a short visit, but that’s not where my position is based. It comes from a belief in diversity and that no nation is homogenous.

My distaste for political based boycotts stem from that and the blatant ignorance involved in the financial ruin that will result to all countries involved. It’s going to cost uninvolved people their jobs.

I did not mean to be vague in the “bridge-burning” statement. I know you were taking the humorous approach to this topic in your post. I find the politics of conflict rather than diplomacy highly irritating and suddenly I’m off in rant mode.
-=e=- the merciless

It comes from a belief in diversity and that no nation is homogenous.
Absolutely. These days I’m seeing America much like South Africa in it’s apartheid heyday… though, not everyone agreed with the governments policies, South Africans couldn’t go anywhere in the world without dirty looks or being treated like shit. Some believed everything their government told them, some didn’t. But they were all lumped into a box. Much like Americans and French are.

It’s going to cost uninvolved people their jobs.
Agreed. Back when we were boycotting Japanese imports a decade or so, who suffered besides those in Nissan and Honda plants in the U.S.?

I’m off in rant mode.
I’m looking forward to it. :0)

Perhaps I’m better off covering the Acidman -vs- Venemous Kate war… if that’s not too late already. I think it’s a bad timing for my contempt for the French right now. (Of course there’s NEVER a bad time to dump on Woody Allen.)
Lee

Don’t get me started on Acidman … ARRGH!

“It’s time for everyone to come together again. Nothing gets resolved if we don’t talk about it.”

EXACTLY. Couldn’t be said better.
Dr. D.

Eric. Just to say I read your entry “Beyond the scope of words.” Damn good post dude. Thanks for the recent comment.
Mad Bull

Yeah, I liked that too… Hey, did you have a demon-like design up on your blog (oops, sorry, I didn’t mean that) one time? If so, then I’ve been to your site before… I much prefer the look now. I guess the demon look was from when you were seeing that snobbish French girl, huh?
-=e=- the merciless

Yup… that was me! Everyone’s favorite Enemy of the State with his famous decomposing bear… :0)

Good to see you again bro.
Kate S.

Let me try to leave this comment again.
Homo-Eiffelupyouranus?
Bwahahahahaha! That was funny!
No, I’m not picking on the French. I love the French, everything French. But I have met a few who were very snobby and, as it happens, nasal. But, that’s a language-training thing. Not their fault.
Maybe they are snobbish because they know they originated much of the world’s culture? Maybe they are just being proud!
As with all snobs, if you ignore them, they seem pretty ok with that.
Pingback: Dailee
Magister Nullius

Merci mille fois, Monsieur Eric, de votre attentat à écorcher ce pauvre vieux chat fouetté. [Performs typical Gallic shrug, accompanied by brief raising of left eyebrow and patiently avuncular sigh]

Ah well, having been thoroughly drenched in insults by the Spanish, the Germans, the English and the Basques, I suppose a little tinkling on one’s boots isn’t too great a burden to bear when it proceeds from that National Beacon of Western Civilisation that twice elected Cowboy George as the world’s most powerful village idiot. But for Pete’s sake, the correct Froggish phrase is “Foutez la France.” P

(Your paté is fried, by the way. And your little cat’s, too, methinks. But we’ll deal with that in a darkly different venue, my pretty. De-li-cate-ly. Now where did I put that hourglass and my pointy hat? Damned monkeys…)
-=e=-

Merci mille fois, Monsieur Eric, de votre attentat à ©corcher ce pauvre vieux chat fouetté®¦lt;

Comment? Je ne comprende pas…. (Damn, I knew I should have been been paying more attention to what my french teacher was saying instead of staring at her legs!) oh wait!
“Thank you thousand times, Mr Eric, of your attack to skin this poor old pussy whipped man.” (*SNORT!*)

That degenerate, Woody Allen? My pleasure.
Wow… it’s interesting to re-read this after all this time.

Much has passed since these conversations, John did, indeed sever ties as ideology was more important than friendship, and it took time to understand a major tool of the NeoCons: Scapegoating and villifying their opposition. (Yes, Bush is indeed not exactly the sharpest crayon in the box! However, his handlers are fiendishly brilliant though.) I do think my views of the French have been misrepresented… I should have clarified. As an American, I see the French in the same way I see the Boston Red Sox as I am a New Yorker…

Despite all the rivalry and competitive hostility I was quite happy to see them win the World Series since the Yankees didn’t. It’s fun to ridicule your rivals.

But using Woody Allen for an image makeover was still dumb.

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