Fear sucks… it really does.
A great topic is going on at The Back Porch. It’s all about fear.
Fear (like racism, hatred, and greed) is taught… it’s not a “natural instinct”.
Bet you didn’t know that.
Whether it’s a horrible (traumatic or embarrassing) life experience, or some neurotic lunatic drilled it in your head when you were younger. Think about how many times your mother stopped you from grabbing something off the stove… the fear didn’t set in until you finally got burned, didn’t it?
You became afraid of the dark after you saw your first horror movie, and that pile of clothes on the chair began to take the form of that hideous creature in the movie… just waiting to kill you in your sleep. Or you won’t get up to pee in the middle of the night for fear of being confronted by a ghost of a battered woman with slit wrists screaming at you.
Fear comes from losing control over your circumstances. When it’s out of your hands, you can become scared shitless real fast.
The only known cure for fear is to meet it head on. When you’re on the edge of the cliff, and nowhere to go but straight down…. sometimes the only thing you can do is take that step forward, and take a “leap of faith”… I’ve done it more times than I can count, and something has always caught me.
Like I said, it’s out of your hands. What have you got to lose?
February 3rd, 2002 at 10:17 am
*shudder*
I am so afraid of fear that I’m afraid to even comment on it.
There….said enough about that.
February 3rd, 2002 at 11:47 am
That’s one of the things that I’ve been learning lately – the opposite of fear is faith. I’d prefer to have more of the latter. None of the former. It’s interesting to pay attention to that which I fear, and attempt to pinpoint when and where the fear originated.
February 3rd, 2002 at 11:56 am
"I’d prefer to have more of the latter. None of the former. "
I kind of disagree with having “none of the former”. Fear is good if you control it rather than it controlling you. It keeps you cautious and alert… thereby insuring that a cop or a firefighter gets home to their families every night; or a young soldier, with his whole life ahead of him… will still continue to have that when a war is over. So it’s good to have a little fear…
I mean, how else can religion keep controlling us? :0)
February 3rd, 2002 at 3:03 pm
& sometimes the opposite of fear is "denial". those times, a good healthy dose of fear goes a long way to overcoming lethargy & procrastination. sometimes that’s the only thing that gets me off my ass.
this is something i’m working on, i’m not enamored of this living life in reaction to the things i’ve fucked up, but at least i’ve learned to use the fear as a motivator & not just live & wallow in it.
now, fear of things beyond my control, is something i used to get overwhelmed by, & now more or less ignore, or try to. that’s just a waste of time & energy. laying around wiped out by fear of the unknown is no way to be prepared for whatever happens when it does happen –– because sure enough the stuff you thought to worry about rarely happens, & something you hadn’t even considered comes up & bites you in the ass.
fear –– great topic.
February 3rd, 2002 at 3:33 pm
"a good healthy dose of fear goes a long way to overcoming lethargy & procrastination"
Too true… I suspect that’s the main reason behind C&Y’s latest threats with us. Seems they don’t accept "the holidays" as a reson for a lot of what we had to do grinding to a halt. (But then again, they didn’t understand why we couldn’t get certain documents from Worth St. in NYC for two months after 9/11). So I guess they think "this" is what it’ll take to get us off our asses, and find a new home (not the fact that landlords are not coming up in the dead of winter to show houses).
"Procrastination" is another great topic… I’m gonna cover that one too.
… one of these days.
February 3rd, 2002 at 4:22 pm
damn those C&Y people. somebody should put the fear o’ something into them, by golly. but yeah, the beaurocratic mindset (firmly up its ass) is enough to strike fear in anyone. fear of the unreasonable is a perfectly logical fear, & i totally feel for you in that respect. you are handling it remarkably well though.
February 3rd, 2002 at 5:59 pm
Fear revolves around one thread:
THE
UNKNOWN
February 3rd, 2002 at 7:22 pm
I have a great fear of declining health.
It has been drilled into me so many times–rejection, rejection, rejection..
That dispite my taking meds, I can still loose my kidney. This is something I can’t control, which is hard. I like control in my life..So I leave it all to faith, and wonder if I have enough faith in faith…
February 4th, 2002 at 6:17 am
You can talk yourself into everything uh? ;0)
February 4th, 2002 at 8:10 am
Except for quitting smoking… and being terrified when I have no control over my circumstances… uhm pretty much. :0)
February 4th, 2002 at 8:47 am
Yeah, I think fear can be healthy and, as you said, Eric, I want to control the fear not let it control me.
I’m at the Grand Canyon and I’m somewhat afraid of heights. There are no guardrails anywhere on the trail to the overlook and my (ex)–husband can go no further. He’s just too freaked out. So I sat with him a bit and I almost stayed there with him –– I could feel myself losing my nerve. But then I decided I really HAD to go out there. Am I ever coming back to this place? Is my fear going to keep me from seeing one of the most spectacular views of our country? Just exactly who’s in control here?
So, I braved the trail on my own and I’m so very glad I did. It was in that moment that I decided to start confronting more of my fears. I’m still alive so I guess it’s been a good thing!