(A conversation in the darkness)

“I did good, right?”

“You didn’t have to. We would have fought the armies of Hell for you.”

“I know… but there’s enough going on.”

“You didn’t have to do this. You were meant to be.”

“Apparently not. Hey, there’s an reason for all of this. We just don’t know it yet.”

You inherited my uncanny ability of bad timing…
And my sense of self-sacrifice.
Off to the Heavens, my little warrior angel….

Daddy will always love you.

TRIVIA QUIZ:
Who is this guy, and why do I love him so?

I mean, I’m talking “I-wanna-have-his-baby”-kinda love here…
Read the rest of this entry »

A great topic is going on at The Back Porch. It’s all about fear.
Fear (like racism, hatred, and greed) is taught… it’s not a “natural instinct”.
Bet you didn’t know that.

Whether it’s a horrible (traumatic or embarrassing) life experience, or some neurotic lunatic drilled it in your head when you were younger. Think about how many times your mother stopped you from grabbing something off the stove… the fear didn’t set in until you finally got burned, didn’t it?

You became afraid of the dark after you saw your first horror movie, and that pile of clothes on the chair began to take the form of that hideous creature in the movie… just waiting to kill you in your sleep. Or you won’t get up to pee in the middle of the night for fear of being confronted by a ghost of a battered woman with slit wrists screaming at you.

Fear comes from losing control over your circumstances. When it’s out of your hands, you can become scared shitless real fast.

The only known cure for fear is to meet it head on. When you’re on the edge of the cliff, and nowhere to go but straight down…. sometimes the only thing you can do is take that step forward, and take a “leap of faith”… I’ve done it more times than I can count, and something has always caught me.

Like I said, it’s out of your hands. What have you got to lose?

-gone-

Black Italian Double-breasted suit: $0 (Hand-me-down)
New Haircut: $0 (Didn’t have time)
Leaving your dogs alone in the State of Pennsylvania: $2,250.00

“Your honor, it was a time of tough decisions. A time to walk, hitchhike, and make it to work everyday by any means necessary. What happened was unfortunate, and I offer no excuses.”

That line impressed the hell out of the Magistrate, who I have to say was one of the fairest and kindest judges I’ve ever met. At certain points of the informal trial, I envisioned the outcome a thousand times worse than a mere fine.

“It’s actually refreshing to have someone take responsibility and not offer excuses for what they’ve done…”

A husband and wife was in a similar situation in that same court yesterday.

They are now spending the next three months in Pike County Correctional Facility.

I consider myself lucky.

Yeah, life is good.

Carole heads off to work at night, and I have “Puddy” show up right at the door, just minutes after she leaves… like clockwork. It’s a nice feeling to have someone snuggle with me at night again.

Carole knows, and has no problem with it. Truth be told, she’s actually encouraging it.

“Puddy” is apparently a housecat that somebody no longer wanted (or lost). I can tell, because she’s still kinda fat, and relatively clean, even though she has no collar or tags. She shows up every night looking for something to eat.

Now that we no longer have dogs to eat our leftovers… Puddy and I have a great working relationship. She also boosts the kid’s spirits (If you recall, the kids were taken away, without even given a chance to say “goodbye” to them.), since we’re not legally allowed to have pets anymore.

Carole named her “Puddy Tat”. Original, no? This is the same person that named a black cat “Snowball” and an orange tabby “Dog” back in our N.Y.C. apartment when we first got married.

I’m trying really hard to be the tough guy here…. enforcing it in
everyone’s heads that we can’t keep Puddy as a pet.

The other night, the kids took her in because she was crying from the flashing lightning… I crashed after doing an all-nighter and going straight to work.

I was told Puddy spent the entire night sleeping on my chest.

So here’s the situation:
1) We can’t have pets…
2) I hate cats…
3) It’s EXTREMELY dangerous where we live. We spot bears crossing the road almost every day, looking for food for the upcoming winter (which is going to be a *BITCH*… you heard it here first!). We actually spotted a Bobcat on our property the other day, among other wild predators. Puddy won’t stand a chance out there alone. It’s just a matter of time before a wild animal either tears her to shreds, or gives her rabies.
4) You should see the kids’ eyes light up every time Puddy shows up. They go outside and play with him, try to sneak him in… then I have to be the bad guy and put her back out.
5) I’m probably more attached to this cat than I want to admit.