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SoApBoX
Low-tech whining in cyberspace…

A Tribute to Cartoon Redheads

December 1st, 1998 by Eric Brooks

Hey, what can I say…unless someone out there has the guts to admit the same problem…I must have been the most perverted kid out there. I don’t know if it can be attributed to being a sheltered, only-child, and not having the normal relationships with my peers, but yes…I was crazy about cartoon redheads as a kid…

Ok…. I still do.

They say you never forget your first love…mine was Daphne Blake from Scooby Doo. Come on look at her!!! Always wearing miniskirts, more money than God, and always being tied up by the bad guy…(I’ll refrain from telling you what that did for me…).

Then there’s Ariel…another toon babe!
Sure she’s only 16…
but then again Hans Christian Andersen made her that age, what, a couple of hundred years ago…?

So does that make me some kind of pedophile? I think not.

The way I see it…she’s always going to have that hourglass figure, and barely covering herself with those purple seashells long after my ungrateful kids ship me off to a nursing home…..

Besides she has a thing for guys named Eric…..

Just think about how fast George would
have made vice president if he had
offered
this to Mr. Spacely…
Exceptions to the rule:
  • Betty Rubble did it more for me than Wilma.
  • Melody was my favorite Pussycat over Josie.

Jessica Rabbit…the ultimate celluloid dreamgirl!

I searched all over the web for Jessica Rabbit clip art for this story…both of the pictures used were from porno sites…

In fact, with the four search engines I used, only two sites found weren’t pornographic….so maybe my weakness is a little more common than I thought…

In conclusion: I just have to share with you, my people… (who seem to love and care for me…no matter how bizarre I get!)…
We rented Scooby Doo on Zombie Island this week.

It was great to see Daphne again. After twenty-some-odd years she still looks great!

My wife (a Strawberry Blonde…coincidence?) elbows me to bring to my attention my 18-month old son.

Bottle in one hand…the other hand down his diaper….

- That’s my boy -


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Disclaimer: The views expressed herein are solely those of Eric Brooks. They do not necessarily reflect those of his employers, friends, contacts, family, or even his pets (though my cat, Puddy, seems to agree with me on many key issues.). In accordance to my terms of use, you hereby acknowledge my right to psychoanalyze you, practice accupuncture, and mock you incessantly with every visit. As the user, you also acknowledge that the author has been legally declared a "Problem Adult" by the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania, and is therefore not responsible for any of his actions.

 

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