Pocono Web Designers

*** If you’re coming here from a web search, you can see my Web Design section & references here. ***
-=e=-

Hmmm… I just did a search on “Pocono Web Designers” and found I’m only ranking #4 on MSN Search, and #22 on Google (well, I show up a little earlier on the list, but it’s work-related.)

This disturbs me, as once upon a time I was king of all I surveyed.

Three years ago, three sites I made were the #1, 2, & 3 search results for “Homes in the Poconos” (Which of course drew a lot of traffic and leads from New York City)… now I see only one is hanging in at #8. (and that site is long gone.).

See, I know all the tricks, and the places to go for search engine placement and submission. I’ll be more that happy to share some of my secrets. Privately. Nothing I would publish publicly, or all of the other pocono web designers will do it.

The one trick I can share is using the words you want to be found for (Like “Pocono Web Designers”, for example)… on a page that is constantly updated and kept fresh will definitely advance your placement.

I certainly hope you folks don’t think that’s what I’m up to here, with my constant reference to Pocono Web Designers over and over in this post.

I’m not saying that I’m not.

I just don’t want you to think it, that’s all. :0)

Eric Brooks

Musician, Programmer, Graphic Designer, Evil Clown - A thorn in the Internet's side since 1997 with no intention of stopping any time soon.

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New Legal Notice: Please Read!

I seem to attract a certain type here on this site.
Or maybe the web attracts them, and they all find their way here.
(Like a “Mecca for Wack Jobs”)

I don’t know if it’s insecurity, loneliness, a need for constant validation…
… or maybe they’re just taking their medication in far less doses than prescribed.

SoApBoX
You know the type: Their world fits in this neat little box. They’ve got it all figured out… the only way they can maintain this little facade is by hearing and seeing only what they want.

When their fragile, imaginary world begins to fall apart… they keep order by throwing fits and having minor psychotic episodes every now and then. Scare every one into submission and MAKE everyone tell them what they want to hear. It’s far easier than taking a look inside themselves, and seeing what it is that’s wrong with them.

[Insert a clip of Jack Nicholson’s “YOU CAN’T HANDLE THE TRUTH” here.]

Somehow, someway, it always comes back to bite me in the ass eventually. My “nodding and agreeing with the crazy person” eventually turns into “Eric is SO two-faced”. And then a campaign to convince the world that I’m the antichrist because it turns out I’m not the person that they built me up to be in their delusional little heads. And there’s always an idiot or two that follows along in their soap opera. They never seem to get that we’re all simply posting a one-sided story on our sites.

Well, maybe I am a *little* two faced, sort of. I like to think of it as “diplomacy” though. But I’m not the one who’s afraid to look deep inside my cold, black little heart here. I know me pretty damn well, and I certainly don’t think I reflect the real me at all on a web page. People like to come here, amuse themselves with tales about the latest hole I find myself in… and watch me dig my way out. :0) It amuses everyone, and I have no illusions that anyone really cares beyond the time it takes to drop an email or leave a comment.

And hey… I’m cool with that.

So before the usual suspects start with the war drums (and yeah, I admit I have quite a few select lunatics in mind with this post), let me get to the point at what precipitated this preced.. brought this on:

An incident happened recently where I did the dumbest thing imaginable… I said something negative about a former client in another part of this site, and it almost cost me my job.

It was beyond dumb and irresponsible… even for me.

I’m not going to feign outrage, and act as if I’m running a private diary here. I have since apologized, removed whole sections, and have tried to set it right. Many of you have designed sites for other people, and you know what I’m talking about… you could probably write volumes of stories. I accept the consequences.

But there are some things you never say out loud or in public. You don’t trash a client. Ever. And it was really out of character for me to let that slip like that.

So, effective immediately… as part of my agreement with the powers that be: Work is officially off-limits on this site. No mention of projects, or people, or even my opinions based on local news… nuthin!

So with my family and friends *already* off limits for some time now, I suppose I’ll just be making stuff up here.

Compared to what we’ve actually been through over the past three years… fiction would probably be more believable anyway.

To the rest of the looney toons that I have been steadily pissing off on a regular basis, I now have the following legal disclaimer posted on all my pages to indemnify myself:

Disclaimer: The views expressed herein are solely those of Eric Brooks. They do not necessarily reflect those of his employers, friends, contacts, family, or even his pets (though my cat, Puddy, seems to agree with me on many key issues.). In accordance to my terms of use, you hereby acknowledge my right to psychoanalyze you, practice accupuncture, and mock you incessantly with every visit. As the user, you also acknowledge that the author has been legally declared a “Problem Adult” by the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania, and is therefore not responsible for any of his actions.

remember: I probably never liked you to begin with.
(Well, maybe not YOU, per se. I’m actually directing that to the OTHER people reading this. Certainly NOT YOU. WE’RE BUDDIES! I think YOU’RE the greatest thing since sliced bread… you know that, right?)

Eric Brooks

Musician, Programmer, Graphic Designer, Evil Clown - A thorn in the Internet's side since 1997 with no intention of stopping any time soon.

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The Golden (Cash) Calf

“… In the temple courts he [Jesus] found men selling cattle, sheep and doves, and others sitting at tables exchanging money. So he made a whip out of cords, and drove all from the temple area, both sheep and cattle; he scattered the coins of the money changers and overturned their tables.
To those who sold doves he said, ‘Get these out of here! How dare you turn my Father’s house into a market!’ …”

John 2:14-16 – N.I.V.

Thus concludes your sermon for this Sunday.
Don’t forget to tithe your pastor on the way out.

Eric Brooks

Musician, Programmer, Graphic Designer, Evil Clown - A thorn in the Internet's side since 1997 with no intention of stopping any time soon.

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Give them flowers (while they can still smell them)

A couple of phrases have always stood out in my mind. Those one-liners that people can write an entire book based on it.

One of those lines was one that I heard a pastor say:
Try and give someone flowers while they can still smell them“.

SoApBoX
We’re always quick with a negative observation of someone. It’s our nature. I’m as guilty as the next guy of doing it. Usually it’s traits we see within ourselves that annoy us when we see it in others.

Books go out of print, buildings crumble, laws and statutes are repealed, news becomes forgotten, television and radio shows are cancelled, and websites expire.

The only real legacy we leave behind in this world are the memories kept by those whose lives we’ve touched.

All too often we find ourselves talking to a coffin or at a grave site telling the open wind how much they meant to us. Stuff we meant to tell them a long time ago.

Stuff we SHOULD have told them a long time ago.
I hope I’m not too late for some of you.
I hope you know how I feel about you.

Life’s too short.

Eric Brooks

Musician, Programmer, Graphic Designer, Evil Clown - A thorn in the Internet's side since 1997 with no intention of stopping any time soon.

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Disclaimer: The views expressed herein are solely those of Eric Brooks. They do not necessarily reflect those of his employers, friends, contacts, family, or even his pets (though my cat, Puddy, seems to agree with me on many key issues.). In accordance to my terms of use, you hereby acknowledge my right to psychoanalyze you, practice accupuncture, and mock you incessantly with every visit. As the user, you also acknowledge that the author has been legally declared a "Problem Adult" by the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania, and is therefore not responsible for any of his actions. ALSO, the political views and products advertised on this site may/may not reflect the views of Puddy or myself, so please don't take them as an endorsement. We just need to eat.


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